31 Mar The conflict you do not face also decides for you

The conflict you do not face also decides for you

A few days ago, my mother, Gregoria, shared with her three children a phrase that caught my attention. I wrote it down.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” Author: Dale Carnegie, American writer and lecturer born in 1888.

A few days have passed, and, in some way, this idea has stayed with me.
To the point of inviting me today to write these lines.

 

The silent cost of not acting

There are moments in the year that invite us to pause. Holy Week is one of them.

Public holidays, less noise, more time… and, sometimes, more mental space than usual. And it is precisely in this space where those conflicts we have been avoiding for a long time tend to appear.

Pending conversations.
Decisions that we keep postponing.
Tense relationships that remain in an uncomfortable balance.

Because the problem is not always the conflict itself.
Often, the problem is not facing it.

In my experience as a conflict mediator -in the family, neighbourhood, professional and business fields- a pattern constantly repeats itself: not acting does not eliminate the conflict, it transforms it.

It turns it into:

• Emotional distance
• Accumulated discomfort
• Misinterpretations
• Chronic conflicts

And, above all, into an internal feeling that is difficult to explain.

Because you cannot have a peaceful life if your mind is at war with yourself.

Avoiding conflict may seem like a way of protecting oneself, but in the medium and long term it usually generates more wear and tear than facing it.

 

It is not a lack of motivation, it is a lack of purpose

Many people do not act because they feel that “it is not the right time”, that “it will pass” or that they “do not know how to do it”.

But in reality, it is rarely a problem of motivation.

It is a problem of purpose.

Why do you want to resolve this conflict?
What would you gain if you faced it?
What are you losing by not doing it?

When the purpose becomes clear -improving a relationship, regaining peace of mind, setting boundaries or closing a chapter- action stops being a burden and becomes a decision.

 

Holy Week: a good time to pause and reflect

This period can be an opportunity.

Not necessarily to act immediately, but to do something just as important: to become aware.

Perhaps these days you can ask yourself:

• What conflict am I avoiding?
• How long have I been postponing it?
• What is preventing me from facing it?
• What would happen if I took the first step?

It is not about solving everything in a few days.
It is about stopping looking the other way.

And perhaps, after these days, starting to make decisions.

 

Mediation as a first step

Not all conflicts can -nor should- be managed alone.

Mediation is an effective, confidential and flexible tool that allows conflicts to be addressed in a structured way, with the support of a neutral professional.

As a conflict mediator, I work with people who:

• Want to improve communication
• Need to unblock an entrenched situation
• Seek practical solutions without directly resorting to legal proceedings

Whether in family, neighbourhood, professional conflicts or between business partners, mediation allows the conflict to be transformed into an opportunity for change.

 

Acting is also a skill

Facing a conflict does not mean doing it perfectly.
It means starting.

Because acting does not guarantee an ideal result,
but not acting guarantees that nothing changes.

And along this path, there is an important idea to remember:
peace of mind -and, in part, happiness- is not only a consequence. It is also a choice… and a skill.

 

Contact

If you find yourself in a moment of blockage or have a conflict you do not know how to address, I can help you.

Daniel Sererols Villalón
Lawyer and conflict mediator

daniel@mediadorconflictos.com
Tel. 661 463 306